I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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