I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
North Korea, Best Korea!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
