Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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