Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize