At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
