I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
