I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he shaved USA in his pubs
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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