the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
