Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
