i dont even know how to be here
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
