i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
