I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
