By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
