Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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