For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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