Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If I die, sorry about rent.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Dick very happy bro
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
