What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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