I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
