i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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