I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
