I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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