I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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