i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
