Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
