GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
I donโt care that heโs a decade younger. Heโs cute and I need a good penising
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