i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
