So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
