just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize