I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
