I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
