there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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