He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
