you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
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Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
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His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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