I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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