You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
