i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
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The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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