i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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