4 words: hood of his car
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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