remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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