I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
