Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
