im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
