Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
