I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize