i barfeds in our rink
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
