If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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