Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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