Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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