no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize