Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
