My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
