i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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