I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
