I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Randomize
