Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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