I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
