can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
