Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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