I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
