I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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