it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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