I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So squirting runs in the family.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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