My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels