no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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