my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident