If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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