great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
